I adore writing. It doesn’t make a difference to me if I am typing on a keyboard, or writing in a journal. I enjoy it all. Just seeing my thoughts articulated onto a page makes me feel accomplished. However, I suffer from being, what can only be so eloquently described as… scatterbrained. In my home as of right now I probably have a minimum of 50 notebooks, all with well intentioned beginnings. The first 40 or so pages of each notebook started with prayer requests, journal entries, book and Bible studies. Studies of psychology books or studies on biblical figures, some notebooks hold the beginning plans for business ideas, one of those notebooks has the beginning chapters and ideas for a novel I had thought of. Sadly, if you open those notebooks toward the end, they hold blank pages, evidence of a scatterbrained woman, who seems unable to finish things that she started. It’s easy to view this quality of being scatterbrained as a huge flaw, as someone who lacks perseverance or follow through. Perhaps even as someone with a lack of focus or drive even, and perhaps in those areas there is plenty of room for improvement on my part, but maybe in good ol’ Haven fashion, I see this quality as a point of pride.
While it’s easy to see those notebooks as a failed attempt at something I began, I see them each as seasons of passions. Some seasons lasted longer than others, some just adapted and grew into new ideas, which became new notebooks. Some simply turned into lost ideas or passions that ended. Each new journal of prayers and studies show attempts at connection and growth, and I can always add to those pages, or keep them on a shelf as a reminder of a season and passion I had.
To me, as someone who is passionate about writing and journaling, these notebooks scattered around my house serve as a visual representation of my journey this far. Of seasons in life God called me into, or maybe even that I ran blind toward and God called me out of. Perhaps you have a visual representation of your journey as well, maybe not notebooks, but perhaps you are an artist with paintings, some finished, and others incomplete. Or even books, on your shelf that serve as a visual representation of your many interests and ideas. Whatever it may be, it’s okay to smile at the visual representation of being scatterbrained, and even better, to appreciate what it means. That you have been through many different moments in life… Some that were full of passion and new creative ideas, other moments of loss or needing guidance, but all that lead you to where you are now.
So if you, like me, have struggled with feeling as though you lack follow through, or lack focus when you look at those things in your life that are incomplete, join me in changing your perspective. Appreciate the journey of a finished painting, and one that you lost your passion to create. Appreciate the notebooks that were left incomplete because you just wanted to begin a new journey of thought. Don’t feel guilty if you need to create something new, without finishing what you started last. Start that new painting, start a new hobby, create a new idea, and never feel bad for being scatterbrained!